when i was a little girl, my mother was (as many women of her age) a bit of a prude. when i inevitably asked her one day what my vagina was, she called it a “foo-foo.”

(i know what you’re thinking – her word for a penis was “doo-jiggy.” obviously.)

so imagine my surprise – abject horror, really – when, shortly after i moved to texas, i heard my ex say, “hey, next time we go to the mall, remind me to pick up some foo-foo juice.”

i said nothing.

but then, only a short time later at his parent’s house, a relative commented, “hey, that’s some great smellin’ foo-foo juice you got on,” and i nearly died.

because seriously.

i mean, he explained it when i asked. but for all eternity i will forever think that someone is referring to vajayjay secretions whenever they refer to their foo-foo juice.

also, eww.

you’re welcome.