doing a google search on “define: karma” i found this… In Hindu belief where the term originated, it is the idea that the good and evil a person does will return either in this life or in a later one. Among Pagans, the theory is that whatever negative or positive energies one sends out will come back to the sender in like kind.

Now, for a long time, i believed in karma. Or at least, i believed in something along the lines of what they say the Pagen belief is, about what goes around comes around.

But frankly, i’m beginning to think that’s just bull$hit. Because i am an inherently nice person. i really am. i know, i know, i biotch about things and rant here, but that’s just it – i do it here. Not to other people. Certainly not to the people that deserve it. And yet… and yet…

And yet i keep being this nice person, and i keep getting bit in the a$$ for it. i try be that shelter in the storm for others, and others just bring on more of a $hitstorm than i had before. i try to be a friend, i make an enemy. i don’t get it. is it envy? is it just too much for people that aren’t happy to know that other people are?

when i started my new life, i truly looked forward to being in control of all aspects of it. or at least, i looked forward to being in control of all the aspects that i could be in control of, if that makes sense. i choose who i’m friends with and who i’m not. who i talk to and who i don’t. what i say and what i don’t. and i work pretty hard and just projecting good and projecting good and projecting good…

but this repetitive repayment of bad for good thing makes me just rethink the whole thing. maybe i should be a biotch out there in the real world, and keep the nicities limited to cyberspace.