the woodlands biotch is my alter ego. if you ever meet me (or have met me) you wouldn’t know that this is me. because i am – inherently – a really nice person. that’s the beauty of the internet. people can be whoever they want here. a lot of what I have to say here is simply the garbage that’s in my head on a daily basis that has nowhere else to go for whatever reason. maybe it’d piss off a client. maybe it’d get me disowned. maybe it’d get me fined for public indecency. whatever it could do out there in the real world, in here, in this realm of cyberspace where anyone could see it, it’s pretty much harmless. ironically.

i’m a 30-something woman living and working in the woodlands, texas; have been for just about 15 years. it’s been in that same time that my alter ego has developed. i spent a great deal of that time being held back and biting my tongue. the rage built. i had to do something with it. so i used it to grow. over time i’ve found the needed to have a place to spew the things better left unsaid, to rant about what i see when behind the wheel (without inflicting road rage), to retell the tales of daily life that i find incredulous (i shit you not), offer my own unsolicited opinion about the preparation of foods in my kitchen, and consumption of numerous meals in numerous restaurants around here, without the risk of having something foul end up in my dinner… i live for music, sing along to the radio at every chance i get and veg out with movies on a regular basis – so there’s a pretty constant stream of tunes and scenes in my head. like many of you have family stories that’ll make you laugh or cry, and can make you glad it’s me and not you (relatively speaking). and generally have a place all my own to rant and carry on – even though, admittedly, it’s not all bad.

so enjoy, or don’t. maybe i’ll tell you something you don’t know, maybe i won’t. maybe you’ll find this helpful, maybe you won’t. doesn’t matter. i’m just taking some advice that i found to be helpful and putting it to good use: “have some fire. be unstoppable. be a force of nature. be better than anyone here, and don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks. there are no ‘teams’ here – no ‘buddies. you’re on your own; be on your own.”